i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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