is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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