I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
How does one acquire holy water?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
