ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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