she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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