What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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