Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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