Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
