i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
