Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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