I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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