i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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