That's intense
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
