I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
