i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Dignity is for republicans.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
