Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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