happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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