I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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