I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Pants are for mortals
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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