I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
