hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
