I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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