i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
