Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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