Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize