Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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