I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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