I think my vagina is haunted
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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