nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
