so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
