I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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