I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She bit a glass in half.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
