we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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