My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
