I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
