So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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