:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
