sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
