I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
