I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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