Bisexual people are plain selfish.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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