I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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