I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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