We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
