my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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