Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
