WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
