i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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