I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
