Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
you made out with another girl for some wings
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
ok first of all what the fuck
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
