the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
