Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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