I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
