you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
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