I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
