Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
