There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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