the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
