you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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