In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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